Equality
Lately, I feel like I haven't been doing a great job in spending quality time with the kids. I used to do a lot of craft or cooking things with Yoshi, but I have been lacking the creative mood. I think part of me, I'm trying to deal with the changing phrase of the kids..... or more I should say is Kiharu.
Every morning, she woke up with a great smile. But then as the day goes, her split personality comes out..... I don't know if that's call "terrible two". I remember as Yoshi was little, I used to call him "curious" rather than terrible two. The challenge with Kiharu is her desire to be "equal" as her brother. No matter what I try to do with Yoshi, she wants the SAME.
As Yoshi is now 5 yrs old, there are many things I want to do with him base on his skills, or at least he should have my one on one attention once in a while. But having her around, she just wouldn't let go. She would FIGHT for her right to be there. She has such a strong will in mind, or would that be call "stubborn"? If she couldn't get what she wants, then she cries.
I have tried many ways, but yet to find the effective ones. I know maybe sometimes I'm also treating her "equally" as her brother, which isn't fair either. There are times, I would teach Yoshi to talk to Kiharu, letting her know the right and wrong, but seems like that would only add more frustration to both parties.
This blog updated was started 20 hours ago, but as soon as I'm typing, kids would want my full attention or I would need to stop the siblings rivary.... If "my job" would allow personal leave day off, perhaps I would have submitted one yesterday.....
Well, it's 7:49a.m, Yoshi just left to school with Nori. Kiharu is still sleeping, I'm getting my little moment of peace ..... before my "learning parenthood begins".
(they picked the hairstyle, and I cut it. They definitely have different personality base on their choice of stickers for facial expression)
(We baked bananna cupcake together, thinking it was a great bonding experience. But being a chef wasn't easy when your little helpers were fighting for job duties.....)
3 comments:
i'm having a lot more shouting since heather is bigger too. she just had to push and fight and grab whatever it's on rafael's hands...
as soon as i leave the door and are at work, i kinda feel regretted for not spending the time more harmoniously with her...
so i think you should definitely have a getaway and some private time for yourself! a must to build up your patience and endurance. how about signing up kiharu to a playgroup or something (without the need of parents to accompany) so you can have some regular time to relax and refresh yourself?
I know how you feel and what kind of challenges you are facing. The only thing that worked out well is that Averi is the independent one and can play by herself or find something to keep herself busy. Jaden is the one who wants to play with mommy all the time. It is a challenging time because both of them still needs your attention but it will past. One more year it will be easier. Kiharu is still too young to understand her limitations so she gets frustrated but I would just let her do and not worry too much of the outcome!
Thanks Amy & Rhoda for your support and advice. And thanks for sharing your experiences too. I know, I go through different stages everyday too ^_^, someday, I need a break, but someday I feel guilty about complaining. I guess I just need write a blog to get off my "venting list". ^_^
Luckily, I'm keeping ourselves busy, so everyday we don't just sit at home and deal with the same issues. And little by little, I know it will get better (just as you all told me ^_^). The challenge is to keep a fair treatment to the older siblings in particular.
I know very soon, I'm going to MISS all of these time with them, even if it's good or fighting times. I'm going to miss all of their silliness. They grow too fast.. As long as I keep reminding myself about this, I'm sure I can get through the seemingly tough days (when it's nothing compare to all of you who have to juggle between work and being a mother/wife....)
Thanks for sharing. That is one of the reason why I need to keep writing blog, even when someday, it seems to be the last bit of energy I can afford to do.... thank you for reading. ^_^
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