Getting used to babies
Today we have invited few friends for lunch and playdate. Yoshi was really into these few friends. He knows who's Sarah, Andrew & Cara, and he would say their names. And not often he would play as a group like today. He was alsoo curious with my friend's babies- Nadiah & Hanna. Thanks for coming everyone. (Lisa- u are so great with the little kids, thank you for playing and looking after them as always. U are such a wonderful big sister to all of them.)
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Lately I have been talking to few moms about our ways of dealing with kids tantrum. This afternoon, Yoshi threw a big tantrum during diaper change. He even hit me during his frustration. So I immediately turn on my memory chart, and see what kind of method I should try. At one point, I was so upset that I raised my voice. Result: he raised his voice as well (in addition to his "n-o" with head turned 90 degree sideway). Ok, so I knew that didn't work.
Method #2- "time out spot". This was the 2nd time I ever used, and I basically sat right in front of him, trapping him from escaping. When I had him apologized to me, he said "n-o'. Well....didn't seem to be effective either (I know it will take at least few more times to get the message across).
Method #3- "ignore". I was tired of trying after a while, so I decided to just ignore him, thinking that might calm both of us down. Yoshi acted like nothing happened, and began to sit right next to me. But the closer he got, the further I intentionally sat away. Finally he gently touch my arms where he hit me. And he said sorry as I told him so, followed by a gentle hug......so after almost 20 mins, we were back in peaceful relationship. ^_^
Isn't it funny how different methods work for different kids and different situation. Perhaps this might sound like I'm trying too hard or I'm just making things a big deal...but when I have to deal with his tantrum at least once a day, I can't just sit back. This is definitely a learning process for all of us. (I'm sure if Yoshi knows how to write a blog, his side of the story would be very different. ^_^)
P.s.- Well, the sweetest moment of the day- we were playing kissing game. He would go left and right behind me, and trying to give me kisses.....though it was only a 5 mins game, but it overrided the 20 mins struggle earlier....^_^
3 comments:
yeah i agree it's a trial-and-error process when both the parents and kid learn how to deal with tantrums/frustrations in life.
let me share our story. lately we've found that before lecturing/asking rafael to apologise, trying to show that we understand how he is feeling can melt him and make him feel we're on his side. say for example he doesn't want to change diaper. we might make ourselves say "rafael, are you unhappy?" he would always say "yes". then we might say "we can understand why your don't want to change your diapers now. is it that you don't want to stop playing with your toys?". then he would say "yes". and then we would continue with "but...". for rafael's case, most of the time it worked better than a plain lecture. :P
I like method # 3. it works!!
Method figured out - 受軟唔受硬
Auntie Mays
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