No hitting...
I wasn't sure if I really want to write this topic, because I don't want people to think Yoshi was a bad kid. But it's part of every child's development, and just want to share my thoughts.........
Lately, I have noticed when Yoshi doesn't get what he wants, he would hit his hand on table or something, showing signs of upset. Everytime, I would starr at him, letting him know it's not acceptable behavior and talk to him about it. I tried not to react strongly because I don't want him to think it's a way of getting our attention. I can only patiently teach him everytime he did so.
Today, he was pushing the stroller in the mall, until to a point where it became crowded, so I took the stroller away, he was very upset. I knee down to talk to him, then he hit my head once. I was furious (& embrassed). So I put him into the stroller right away and rushed outside to the parking lot. When we got to the car where no one was around, I started talking to him again. I just felt the need to reinforce the teaching action each time when he misbehaved, regardless whether he is hearing or not. I can tell on his face, he knew what it's about, he knew I was upset. I'm trying to teach him to say 'sorry' when he did something wrong, but it will take a while for the conversation part. Perhaps hitting with his hand is his way of releasing frustration, just trying to let us know how he felt. But that's not what we encourage at all. Me and Nori have never hit him in any situation. So by talking to him, we hope to show him we care about his feeling, and he just need to express in a different way. I know it takes time, just like teaching him how to crawl, walk.....but each time when he hit, especially on me, it upsets me.
Anyway, after writing this out, I feel better. I guess everyone just need to release their emotions once in a while....
(p.s.- don't worry, he doesn't hit anyone else, not to any other kids. Even when other kids took away his toys, he would only stand aside observing, but he never hit anyone. .....I guess he hit me because he loves me. ^_^)
7 comments:
Hi, I know you don't know me but I am actually a good friend of Kitty. I will see you and Yoshi at William's wedding in July. I have actually been following your blog (hope you don't mind but Kitty sent it to me and I actually really enjoy reading it). I wanted to respond to your blog about hitting as I have a 3 year boy and went through a time when he would do the same. What you are doing is great..reinforcing the idea that hitting is not acceptable. My little boy went through the same thing around 18 mths - 2 years old when he was not able to fully verbalize his feelings or what he wanted. It will pass but next time, instead of just take something away, tell him what you are going to do first so he is prepared. Kids at this age is trying very hard to be independent so they have a hard time dealing with changes. Just be patient. It will pass!!
Hi xxxx, (wonder what's your name?), thanks for leaving the comment. It's comforting to share and listen from others too. Especially the experienced one. Yeah, it requires lots and lots of patience in teaching the little one who is trying to be independent and yet, u know they will understand if we keep teaching. Thanks for the advice. and thanks for visiting our blog. Looking forward in meeting u.
i fully agree w/ your parenting philosophies. i guess it just take time for them to understand.
just to share, when rafael misbehaves, e.g. shout in the library, apart from telling him that we can't shout in the library, i try to tell him when and where we're allowed to shout, e.g. when we play in the park or when we cheer for others. i don't know if it helps but i'm hoping to tell him the right ocassions to do the right things. when it comes to hitting, maybe we can say we can hit balls/balloons/drums etc.
good luck dear!!
I came across a book called "raising your spirited child" and it helped me to understand/rationalise some of the odd things that toddlers do and to appreciate that my child had his own temperament. (The book also had many other elements that make it a bestseller, like "Oh, it's not your fault that your child is...", "you need to take care of yourself too" and "It's ok to take time out and leave your child to the babysitter..."! :))
You strike me as a mother with loads of patience and creativity (both of which I am seriously lacking! )- no doubt you would come up with many novel parenting tricks! Do share it on your blog!
Sorry, I forgot to make myself known. I am Kitty L from SPCS.
Sorry I did not know why I did not want to leave a name yesterday. Anyways, I am Rhoda and I hope to meet you and Yoshi in July!! I will not be bringing my little boy Jaden but my little girl who just turned 7 months will be there. Good luck and I think you are doing a great job!!
Yoshi 擺明 "打者愛也"...叻仔!
Pui - you are doing very right...you have to tell him he has done it wrong if he hits you...but as you said, this is just some moments of kids growing and learning!!
May EE
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